This Time My Client Was Innocent by Chuck Boyk

I have been involved with numerous bank robbery cases.
(I’ll have even funnier stories in the future) I was on the
federal criminal appointment list in the early 2000s, and
seemed to get several bank robbery cases with bad facts
for a defense attorney.

One of my clients was caught with dye on his hands. I
had a client arrested inside the bank he was robbing.
Another of my clients was arrested in his car with the
money. Don’t get me started on the client who was
apprehended in a crack house with the dye-stained
money.

It was so bad that the assistant US attorney began
kidding me about my horrible fact patterns.
My job was essentially to reduce points under the
federal sentencing guidelines, find mitigating factors,
and professionally beg the government and the judge for
leniency.

Then I was appointed to another bank robbery. We
arraigned the client. An eyewitness in the bank had
positively identified him. I had a long talk with the
defendant. The bank was in a shopping center. The
defendant claimed he had just eaten lunch at the bagel
store next to the bank and was walking to his car when
he was arrested. The client had no prior record, a
family, and a good job. In addition, he appeared to be
100% normal and telling the truth.

I approached my assistant US attorney opponent and
the FBI agent. The agent had spent a summer in
college working with my father and was a super nice
guy. I told them my client was innocent. They both
burst out laughing. I reminded them that in the past,
I NEVER told them my client was innocent. I just
attacked their evidence. I explained the story, and
they promised to investigate. Two days later, they
admitted the eyewitness was wrong and dropped
the charges.

The local newspaper ran an editorial about the
scientific studies disputing eyewitness testimony,
and they talked about this specific case.
Some of my days as a criminal defense attorney,
I actually accomplished more than just creating a
funny story.