MEMORIES OF A REFORMED DEFENSE ATTORNEY by Chuck Boyk
I am now a plaintiff personal injury attorney, but I
got some of my best stories and had the most fun
as a criminal defense attorney. I was able to meet
so many tremendous characters, and some of the
conversations were priceless. Here are some
examples:
One of my clients wanted me to handle his
robbery case on a contingency basis. He heard
that is what attorneys do. I asked him if that
meant if he was sentenced to 6 years in prison,
that I got to serve 2 of them? I do not think he
grasped the concept.
A felonious assault client wanted to know if I gave
out loans. I explained that I represented people
charged with crimes and wanted payment up
front. I was not like Mr. Haney on Green Acres and
had 20 different occupations.
A female drug dealer with a serious felony charge
wanted me to offer that she would have sex with
the prosecutor if we could get a misdemeanor. I
laughed the first time and told her that was funny.
She requested that another 6 times. Finally, I told
her I was not going to do that. It was an ethical
violation for me. She and I would be committing a
felony act of bribery if I did that. Eventually, it was
reduced to a low-level felony, and she received
some local time and probation.
One of my close friends asked me regularly how I
could represent horrible drug dealers. Eventually,
his son was charged with possession of a large amount
of LSD. I represented his son for free. I pointed out
that life is gray. Drug dealing is poison if it is somebody
else doing it. If it is your kid, you want understanding
from the court.
I loved the interesting people and wild tales. I
did not like fighting clients to get paid. But
criminal defense taught me how to deal with all
sorts of people and gave me my trial skills. The
time I spent doing it was definitely a blessing.
